Learning to Sleep in My Own Bed

When I first adopted my dog Britney, she had heartworms as well as severe separation anxiety. When a dog is being treated for heartworms, the owner has to try to keep the dog’s activity to a minimum in order to not raise the dog’s heart rate because if the dog’s heart rate is too elevated, a dead worm could be thrown into the dog’s bloodstream causing a pulmonary embolism or other severe health problems. The problem with Britney was that she would freak out when she could not be with me. I called Britney my little shadow because she followed me everywhere I would go and always had to be right next to me. And if I tried to make her sleep anywhere but in my bed cuddled up against my body, she would start crying and howling. I was worried that Britney’s reaction was elevating her heart rate to dangerous levels, so I decided to cradle Britney in my arms and cuddle her to sleep every night.

Fortunately Britney made it through the heartworm treatment successfully and made a full recovery. Nevertheless, she continued having severe separation anxiety and because I could not stand to see my sweet baby upset, I continued cuddling Britney to sleep every night, sacrificing my own good sleep, months after her recovery from heartworms. After some prodding from friends who thought Britney was overly dependent on me, I decided it was time to work on Britney’s separation anxiety and specifically to get Britney sleeping on her own outside of my room. I first attempted the cold turkey approach, just shutting Britney out of my room one night. Britney cried and scratched at my door relentlessly for hours – at 3:00 a.m. I finally gave in and allowed her back into my room. This was not going to be easy. I ended up working with an animal behavior therapist who developed a plan to gradually reduce Britney’s dependence on me. Initially, Britney and I practiced exercises where I would go into another room for five minutes and Britney would receive a treat if she waited for me to return without crying or scratching at the door. It took several months, and there were a few more sleepless nights, but eventually Britney was able to sleep outside my bedroom. Although she still loves to spend time with me, Britney is now okay if she can’t be in the same room with me and sometimes even voluntarily goes off on her own to play with toys or cuddle in her bed.

I think it was so hard for me to force Britney to be independent because I know what it feels like to be terrified in the middle of the night and want the comfort of a trusted person. When I was young, I had terrible, reoccurring nightmares and I would often wake up several times during the night. I would yell for my daddy and he would always come to comfort me. Sometimes he’d let me sleep in his bed and other times he would sit with me until I fell back asleep. This one aspect of our relationship is the perfect allegory to illustrate my bond with my father. I experienced some nightmare-like hardships during my childhood including having a heart condition, my mother’s illness, abusive family members and my parents’ never ending financial struggles. My dad at times seemed like my only source of comfort with all of the craziness surrounding me. And my dad had such a gift of faith. He always encouraged me not to worry and to trust in God. I half-heartedly wished that I could have my dad’s gift of faith, but I think for many years subconsciously I relied on his faith and his ability to comfort me instead of trying to learn to really place my trust in God.

When my dad died I felt like I was Britney –  kicked out of the bedroom and crying and scratching at the door, wanting desperately to be let back in. My source of calm and comfort was ripped away from me. I had struggled with anxiety before, but now I was having panic attacks unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I even started sleeping with my bedroom light on – I was like a little girl afraid of the dark again. Although I knew my dad could not come back to life, I pleaded with God to somehow make things as they were before my dad died – that the anxiety would just go away and I would feel my dad’s comfort and calming presence. I was very disappointed initially when God did not answer my prayers the way I wanted.

As the months went by, however, I slowly started to understand that it was time for me to be independent from my dad and to develop my own gift of faith. I heard a homily where the priest explained that when a loved one who had particular spiritual gifts passes away, you can ask God to give you a double portion of that person’s spirit (as Elisha did with Elijah in the Old Testament). Inspired by the priest’s message, instead of saying that to myself that I would never have my dad’s faith, I began asking God to give me an even greater gift of faith than my dad had, as well as doing other things to develop my faith such as read the Bible and pray. It did not happen over night (and I’m still working on developing this gift) but I know that my trust in God is so much stronger. I will always miss my dad, but now I understand how God used his death to force me to develop my own gift of faith and in turn be able to reach out directly to God as my source of comfort. And my dad, being a good immigrant father, always wanted me to do and have everything bigger and better than him. I’m sure it broke God’s heart to see me anxious and grieving over my dad, but as a good Father, God had to push me out of my comfort zone so I could grow, just as I had to do with Britney.

Recently I went on a retreat to help people identify their spiritual gifts. I circled a few words on a list, identifying what I thought were my spiritual gifts. I showed the list to my boyfriend Marek, and he responded, “I agree with all of those but I think your biggest spiritual gift is this one,” and he pointed to the word “Faith.” I was shocked and at the same time so touched – I hadn’t even thought to circle faith. Another one of my friends confirmed that she could see a gift of faith in me. I thought that faith was dad’s forte (certainly not mine), but now the gift is not only there, but others can see it in me.

A few weeks ago there was a terrible thunderstorm in the middle of night. Britney is scared of storms and usually likes to cuddle up with me if there is bad thunder. When I woke up in the morning, I was shocked that Britney had not come up to my room once to try to try to come in due to the storm – this would have been unthinkable four years ago. I gave her a lot of praise in the morning for being such a brave girl and she seemed to understand she had done well. If I had never pushed her out of my bedroom, she would have never developed her independence and had this moment of courage. I see through Britney’s example how God used my dad’s death to increase my faith and make me stronger.

I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you” (2 Timothy 1:5-6).

 

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  9. Make the exercise harder by switching out your dumbbells for a
    set of kettlebells. Due to the uneven weight distribution of kettlebells (the “bell” portion weighs
    more than the deal with of the equipment), it requires more stability and management to perform the exercise accurately.

    This train will allow you to develop the baseline energy required for the movement whereas additionally starting to interact the stabilizing muscles of the shoulders without isolating each
    shoulder independently. Beginners should be able to do 1
    rep utilizing around 45% of their physique weight (both dumbbells
    combined). Intermediates should be capable of carry approximately 90% of their physique weight, and superior lifters roughly 130%.

    As a general rule of thumb, if you want more delt involvement press on the next incline, and for extra
    pec, press from a lower incline. Nonetheless, your front deltoids are energetic in pretty much any pressing train done in entrance of your physique,
    and the diploma of incline doesn’t appear to
    do a great deal of difference. The term “press” can check with any sort of
    exercise that uses a pressing motion to extend strength
    and build muscle. This can embody workouts like the leg press, chest press, ground press, or overhead press.
    Bench presses work several completely different muscular tissues in your higher physique,
    together with the chest, shoulders, and arms.
    This is why I don’t love the thought of “better” or “best”
    as that language with train selection is typically shortsighted.
    Beneath are a few goal-specific contexts where every of those bench press variations can be better than the others.
    This rack has bars on either side set on the level of your chest.
    If your lift fails on an influence rack, the bars forestall the barbell from crushing your chest.

    As I get heavier I plan on switching to dumbells but I’m
    wondering if this can put me at any type of disadvantage.
    This exercise not only lets you work one arm at a
    time, but it will additionally increase coordination and core strength.

    It’s an excellent train for muscular endurance and works properly
    when used as part of a fat-burning circuit workout. 2– Bend your arms
    and lower the weights until the back of your arms flippantly touch the ground.

    This can also be a good exercise for athletes as sports can be very unilateral, albeit so can life normally.

    All in all, you undoubtedly wish to implement dumbbells into your routine.
    The only people who really don’t both with dumbbell bench presses are beginners who are doing a
    really fundamental energy program.
    Dumbbell presses may be safer as they permit a more pure movement
    and stop overloading one facet, decreasing the chance of injury with proper method.
    Eat a balanced food plan with ample protein to support muscle restore and progress.
    Consultants recommend 0.7-1g of protein per pound of physique weight daily.
    Hydration and micronutrients are pivotal for muscle operate and restoration. Blend presses
    with stretching and mobility work for comprehensive fitness.

    Whether Or Not you’re a newbie or an experienced lifter, mastering the proper form and method
    is crucial for maximizing your outcomes and minimizing the risk of damage.
    The flat bench press workout and its variations are basic to building strength, dimension, and functionality in your higher physique.
    By incorporating completely different workouts, focusing on type, and following a structured routine,
    you’ll be able to obtain impressive outcomes.
    Whether you’re a beginner or an advanced lifter, the flat bench presents
    countless possibilities to progress and challenge your self.

    In bodybuilding the flat bench dumbbell press is essential for full improvement of the chest, particularly the middle section and anterior shoulder joint muscles.
    It is an assistive train for the triceps and serratus anterior.

    As with any train, changing the incline is a useful method to change up your training every
    few weeks and hit your muscular tissues in new challenging ways.
    Heavy lifting is right for constructing muscle, gaining strength, and
    bettering your dumbbell bench press. You can also do dumbbell squeeze presses,
    alternating dumbbell bench presses, and single-arm dumbbell bench presses using a stability
    ball. To get the most from this (or any other) train, you must do it correctly.
    Doing the dumbbell bench press with incorrect type will make it much less effective and could enhance your risk of injury.
    If you are a true beginner, then you really simply want to stick to 1 bench press variation,
    and we would advocate that to be the flat barbell (or dumbbell) bench press.

    It’s a key raise for these who need to balance their pectorals
    and enhance chest energy to beat plateaus with the barbell bench press.
    When it comes to choosing the suitable weights, it’s necessary to
    start out with a load that lets you perform
    the exercise with a full range of movement and proper method.
    Over time, as your power improves, progressively enhance the load
    to proceed challenging your muscles and stimulate growth.
    It’s better to err on the side of caution and choose a barely lighter weight that you could management than to risk injury with a
    weight that’s too heavy on your current level
    of power. Remember to give attention to proper type, gradually increase the load, and hearken to your body to stop
    injuries. Combine the flat chest press with
    a well-rounded exercise routine, correct diet, and sufficient relaxation to optimize your progress and obtain your fitness goals.

    If you play sports or simply need to be stronger with
    your pressing power generally, then it’s never a nasty concept to provide yourself exposure
    to pressing from totally different angles.

    Your buttocks should remain flat on the bench through the bench press.
    Do Not emulate the powerlifter style of arching your back so much that your glutes raise off the
    bench. Your eyes must be roughly aligned with the entrance of the barbell rack uprights.

    I’ve additionally shared widespread problems and options
    to a bench press energy that’s under common. Practice with
    a full vary of motion by bringing the dumbells all the means in which down to the chest before urgent them up.

    Be affected person, hold practicing the bench press, and frequently overload in small weight increments.
    This completes a three-point contact (feet-floor,
    buttocks-bench, back-bench) for maximal stability.
    She was born in Colorado, raised in northern Michigan, and presently
    resides in Pennsylvania. Heather’s main aim is to help others obtain their health and fitness objectives by way
    of schooling, motivation, and inspiration. If you would possibly
    be competing in powerlifting, it’s a good suggestion to practice the bench
    press, squat, and deadlift on the same day because that’s what you will do on meet day.

    Your glutes, shoulders, and head are flat on the bench with a neutral spine.
    Begin with a weight that you can control all through the entire range of motion with good form.
    The dumbbells should almost touch on the top of
    the press, but not fairly. Touching the dumbbells will take a variety of the strain off your muscular tissues and decrease your
    features. If the weights start to level outward, this places
    a substantial amount of stress on your shoulders and elbows.
    Moreover, when you drop the weights, this could put different athletes in danger.

    You also can perform the barbell train variation, or use
    dumbbells instead. However, the principal model of the chest press is the flat barbell bench press, which is used in aggressive sport.
    The incline bench press and the flat bench press are each nice workouts for building your chest and shoulder muscular tissues.
    Whereas they practice the same main muscle groups, there
    are still some variations. The Flat Dumbbell Bench Press
    is a staple train in power training, concentrating on the pectoral muscular tissues with a
    motion that requires cautious consideration to type.

    If you are aiming to develop the higher chest, don’t compete in power sports activities,
    and want to restrict stress on the shoulder,  you want to
    consider the incline bench press. Typically an incline bench press
    is carried out with your torso at a 30-degree or 45-degree incline.
    A 2020 study found that an inclination of 30 degrees
    is right for activating the higher chest. Anything above 45 levels recruited extra anterior delt and fewer
    chest. Alter the incline for bench variation to sculpt the chest
    area. Embarking on a full-range motion in dumbbell presses ensures thorough muscle activation.
    Modify relaxation intervals to shift focus amongst hypertrophy, endurance, or strength-building efforts.

    Talking of partial reps…partial reps may be done with a bench too, to work on particular segments of the bench press.

    With that, considerably heavier masses can be utilized,
    since it’s the underside range of movement that’s the tougher in relation to bench press.
    While the usual bench press lowers the bar all the way down to nipple stage, you’ll have the ability to
    play around with completely different lowering targets.

    One variation is to lower the bar down to the neck on a flat bench.
    These stabilizer muscular tissues help to decelerate the bar
    and limit inefficient movement mechanics.
    Press the weights together as hard as you’ll find a way to and maintain this inward stress throughout the train. Subsequently, I recommend you go along with the incline dumbbell press first
    in your workout. If you do flat presses first, you would possibly fuel out and never have sufficient vitality to maximise your weights
    and carry with good kind. The primary benefit of single arm dumbbell
    bench presses is that you can address muscle imbalances.

    Here are 5 widespread explanation why you might discover it
    difficult to do the bench press using dumbbells, and why your weight standards
    are under average. The weight requirements on this post will help you determine what’s a good weight to be
    lifting based in your gender, physique weight, and coaching expertise.
    1– Lie on the floor with your legs bent, feet flat on the
    ground. This train may be done utilizing a flat, incline, or decline bench as preferred.
    A good stretch at the backside of each rep makes this exercise tougher and extra productive.

    The same is true for hanging weights, as the steadiness calls for will require you to decrease the burden. The above is
    true for close grip incline and decline presses as
    nicely. In summary, the first movers work in collaboration with the stabilizers to provide maximum force
    and well-coordinated motion. In terms of the greatest strength and hypertrophy development, it is your primary movers that may obtain the greatest impact.
    Nonetheless, together, there is a substantial impact on general higher physique power.
    Now, there are also some notable benefits of dumbbell bench press.
    With dumbbells, you simply can’t go as heavy because you want to bring them
    off the ground and into place.
    This portion of the train is probably dangerous, and
    heavyweight must be accomplished with the help of
    a spotter. Your shoulder bladers ought to stay flexed and pulled down toward the hips, and your back should have a slight
    arch. Choose a set of dumbbells of an applicable weight and a bench.
    The rhomboids, positioned between the shoulder blades, assist in scapular retraction and help keep correct posture and stability through the exercise.

    Remember, proper type and safety are crucial to prevent accidents and maximize your progress.
    Study more about protected train practices and tips from the trusted experts at Mayo Clinic.
    Add resistance bands to the barbell for variable resistance, difficult your muscles
    throughout the carry.
    Every variation modifications the train to focus on a unique a half of the body.
    This is a typical mistake when athletes are bench urgent too much weight.

    Throughout a dumbbell bench press, the weights should stay above the athlete’s chest and
    move straight up and down. Using too much weight can stop an athlete from
    using typical dumbbell bench press kind, but it can be harmful.

    They get shoulder ache from flat benching however seem to
    tolerate incline benching nicely. Probably because of a extra environment friendly pressing
    angle during which more of your chest muscle fibers may help.

    Another issue could be the slightly shorter vary of movement of the flat bench press.

    The dumbbell press presents a better range of movement than the barbell bench press.
    This makes it great for each beginners and skilled lifters.
    Muscle development is the target of bodybuilders, however everyone can benefit from muscle mass, which declines with age.

    He’s not simply an armchair health skilled; Patrick practices what he preaches!
    He has competed at a excessive level in quite
    a few sports, including rugby, triathlon, rock
    climbing, trampolining, powerlifting, and, most lately,
    rise up paddleboarding. When not lecturing, coaching, researching,
    or writing, Patrick is busy having fun with the sunny local weather of Cyprus, where he has lived for the
    final 20-years.
    To begin, an athlete should choose a weight that they will control
    for 3 units of 8 repetitions. Athletes can modify
    the quantity of weight up and down primarily based on the variety
    of sets and repetitions. One of the dumbbell
    bench press challenges is lifting the dumbbells to the
    appropriate location. In Contrast To the barbell bench press,
    you can not rack the burden between sets. A compound lift workouts a quantity of muscle teams concurrently.
    The dumbbell bench press is doubtless certainly one of the best chest exercises for
    constructing mirror muscles, those you try in your reflection.
    The flat dumbbell press is a robust and versatile train that should be a staple in any chest workout routine.
    It not only enhances chest power and muscle symmetry but in addition engages supporting muscle tissue for a well-rounded upper-body workout.

    By mastering correct type, avoiding common mistakes, and incorporating superior variations, you’ll have the ability to continually challenge your
    self and obtain spectacular outcomes. The dumbbell bench press or flat
    dumbbell press is arguably one of the popular fitness center workout routines used for full chest development.
    Fuse dumbbell presses with plyometric workout routines,
    like push-ups, to augment explosive power. Incorporate supersets, pairing bench
    presses with rows for balanced higher physique coaching.
    Compound units with shoulder or tricep work can additional
    advance energy and mass gains.

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